Wednesday, March 14, 2012

So Sorry For the Absence!

It's great to be back, I must apologize for the absence. It's ALL my fault, I had a severe case of the drunken fuck-its. It was murder! Please, forgive. And if you don't, my liver already kicked my ass, so there's your sadistic wish come true. My gift to you. 

Much love to my woman Jen, much condolences to Becky. Please, keep her in your prayers. Much respect for all my friends/followers/favoriters/retweeters. Thank you so much, you make a brotha feel good!!!!

Newt, your 15 minutes are up, you megalomaniac blowhard! Take your history-spouting ass somewhere and sit it down! And take that hooked-nosed, hair helmet of a woman you call a trophy wife with you! The one man in this whole race that could speak "Cracker" better than anyone you can think of - and looks like he's had one too many bowl of grits - got his ass handed to him by his OWN!! I guess what my uncle is true, nobody hates like family. There's no real reason that he shouldn't have won the South. Yes, Newt is a one-trick pony that has very little message, but an expansive bullshit launcher of a mouth. Yes, his message hasn't gotten him anywhere (which makes wonder what South Carolina was smoking in THEIR primary). But the South? Newt?! Shit, that's their homey, homey! 

You knew Romney was gonna lock up Hawaii, and ONLY Hawaii. There was no prayer for him down South whatsoever. If you think there could've been I beg you to please, read your history books about the carpetbagger. The Northerner all shiny and pretty in his fancy doodads, with his fancy talk and charm, with all that fancy money. Going down to hustle the supposedly dumb, poor, barefoot Southerner, trying to turn his Confederate money into home spun gold or some shit. Fast forward to 2012 and Mitt Romney. He, with his 1975 game show hair and voice, with all his money, though he could shuck and jive his way down south...with his fancy talk, his big fancy money, his folksy charm. And the South to him, in not so many words, to go fuck himself. That's warms my heart a little, kinda brings out the 4th generation hillbilly in me. 

But, I must say - and here is where I might have a little bit of explaining to do later on with the female community - I'm pissed as shit at the working women of Alabama and Mississippi. They THREW themselves at Santorum... the one guy that WOULD have women throw away their values and their conscience and their INTERESTS in the name of some kind of religious morality that isn't even theirs!!!! Another carpetbagger from Pennsylvania with his SUPPOSED values and his whacked out views. He shucked...he jived... he spoke HIS faith beliefs like he was the Pope himself. And the Southern baptist women said "that's our man!". It won't happen, but just in case, gentile ladies of the South, you better pray that that you or your daughter...your niece...doesn't come into a situation where contraception or pregnancy will be an issue in the country of Rick Santorum. Besides, he doesn't like you. He likes men (yeah, I said it, bring it).

Bobbi Krstina and Oprah. Good heavens! Bobbi, fuck the interviews, girl!!! You was doing drugs with your mama in the club, god rest her soul! You gotta daddy that itching to get his hands on your money!!! GET HELP & GET SECURITY!!! Up with hope, down with dope :)

Congrats to MS Valley St. for totally giving that play-in game away last night. That's some disappointment I could've done without. Please, remember to get those brackets finalized guys. Go UNC!

GCB? Great new show on ABC. Tells the truth (you know what I'm talking about).

Goldman Sachs exec tells the truth about his former company. It is SCATHING. There's no formal statement you can make to cover THAT shit up. AWESOME.

Dawn, I have not forgotten about you... Shit, I think I'm done for now. Gonna watch some tube and rub one  out looking at slugs fuck on the beach. Or kickchop a koala, whichever relaxes me more. FORWARD.