Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Pretty Damn Cool...For A Politician

First, as usual, you know I gotta yell "hey" across a quiet room. Lemme say hey to my girl Dawn. She's my newest, bestest buddy & a zombie killing machine. Can't wait to go on a few missions with her :)

Who's in trouble more, we'll let you decide. Romney, who is so unconvincing and milk toast, he's trying to find a way to eek out a victory in his own home state & the numbers, so far, aren't adding up to greatness. ORRRR... Rick Santorum, who wants to fight - and now has a platform for- his culture war in front of a national TV audience in tonight's 20th GOP debate in Arizona. Ricky, it was nice knowin ya! You can go ahead & grab any mic you wanna & start talking crazy shit all over the place, but you're gonna have seasoned, professional people asking you specific questions on your specific, hair-brained issues. Frankly, Jr., you just ain't got the grapes to handle it. By the way, genius, when your party says to you "Put the war down just for one night & stick to the economy", LISTEN. This could be your last chance to prove that your sane... that you don't hate minorities... that you're not a closet homosexual.

Rev. Franklin Graham, the President Of The United States is not going to hell for believing in pro choice issues! Don't be a dick. There is no way in the world that you could get 3 sane people to believe that you can go to hell for something you believe.  I believe that my new friend Dawn should be giving me a lap dance {sorry, baby, couldn't help it, the devil made me do it :)}  24/7 flanked by the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. If I'm gonna go to hell for a belief like that, guess what... I'm gonna have lots of lots of company as I'm in hell, my black ass getting the tan of all tans.  All ya had to do, Rev., is say when you're asked the question is "I believe that the President is a Christian, but I don't agree on his view about abortion". You say it solidly, boldly & ya shut the damn door, next question. YOU DON'T sound like a pussy, give a half-ass answer & then have the nerve to timidly say "Well, one day, the President is gonna have to stand before his maker..." We're all gonna have to stand before our maker one day & Jesus is gonna run the highlight reel. And after he runs yours, Rev., he's gonna tell you two things: 1) You'll never be anything like the solid, God-fearing man your father was & 2) Genius really does skip a generation.

I get it. "Vote Obama out!" "Vote ALL THE BUMS out!". Yeah, that sounds like an election year to me. I know, I get it. Obama is a bad guy (so the rest of the world is telling me). But I'm gonna end this post quietly with a few things that I know:

     Gingrich: Blowhard, gasbag, doesn't know who he's gonna fuck next.

     Santorum: Closet homosexual culture warrior that hates minorities, homosexuals & women.

     Romney: couldn't inspire anyone to tie their shoes, let along run this country.

     Obama: Was singing at the White House with Buddy Guy, B.B. King & MICK FUCKIN JAGGER. Jesus Shit!!!


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